


[Castiel is typing...]

by Myarna



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Teenage!AU, human!AU, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myarna/pseuds/Myarna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is totally made up of texts, to and from teenage Dean and Cas, along with a couple from Charlie and Jo, and a few from other minor characters.<br/>I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	[Castiel is typing...]

**Author's Note:**

> It has come to my attention that some aspects of this could be found upsetting. So. Yeah. Heads up.

**< June 14th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<13:27>  
Oh my god. Gabe just called.  
<13:27>  
Jesus H fucking Christ, Cas  
<13:27>  
Are you okay?????? xx

 

**< Cas>  
**<13:28>  
I’m alive, babe x

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:28>  
Thank fuck. What happened? x

 

**< Cas>  
**<13:29>  
Ugh. I’ll explain later. Kind of groggy x

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:29>  
Make sure you get the hot nurses though, okay? x

 

 **< Cas>  
**<13:30>  
There’s only one hot person I want to see right now ;) x 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:30>  
Psht, look at you. In the hospital and still a huge flirt. Get some sleep. Love you x  


 

**< Cas>**  
<13:31>  
Don’t play the game if you can’t handle it! Love you, too x

 

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:08>  
Entertain me, I’m bored x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:08>  
S’not my job. Entertain yourself :p x

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:09>  
It is indeed your job. x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:09>  
Okay, fine. Weirdo x  
<18:09>  
Gather round, children, it’s time for a story.  
<18:10>  
T’was the Winter of 2012, two days before everyone thought the world was ending. 

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:10>  
This story? And you say you’re not into chick flick moments. x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:10>  
Do you want a story or not, loser? x

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:11>  
Fire away x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:11>  
*ahem*  
<18:12>  
Two idiotic best friends decided to go for a day trip up to some random-ass hill ‘cause it was snowing and they wanted a snowball fight.  
<18:12>  
You’d think they were eight.  
<18:12>  
Nope. Seventeen.  
<18:13>  
One was the biggest virgin ever to grace this earth.

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:13>  
Rude x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:13>  
I was talking about me, but if the shoe fits x

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:14>  
I hate you x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:14>  
No you don’t. Shall I continue? x

 

**< Cas>  
**<18:14>  
Please x

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:15>  
After they were satisfied that they’d shoved enough snow down each other’s throats, they sat down on a nearby wooden bench at the top of the hill.  
<18:15>  
Because it was so cold, they ended up sitting very close to one another.  
<18:16>  
The better looking one decided to finally get over himself, and maintained that if he was rejected, he could blame it on the cold making him delusional.  
<18:16>  
And so, he kissed the boy with the name of an angel and the eyes to match.  
<18:16>  
And it was hot. Like, cold outside, but *hot*.  
<18:17>  
They kept kissing, and it was the nicest thing.  
<18:17>  
It was like a light had been turned on for the more attractive one.  
<18:17>  
Because his world wasn’t the brightest.  
<18:17>  
But he could suddenly see in colour.  
<18:17>  
Everything felt right, and he was happier than ever, because his best friend accepted him as more than a best friend. 

 

**< Cas>**  
<18:18>  
You weren’t supposed to make me cry, you dick x  
<18:19>  
I’ve never heard you say it like that before x  
<18:19>  
That was beautiful x

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:19>  
Yeah, yeah, shut the fuck up. I’m nobody’s poet x

 

**< Cas>**  
<18:20>  
You’re my poet x

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:20>  
You’re such a chick x

 

**< Cas>**  
<18:21>  
I don’t care, you’d love me either way x

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:21>  
Yes I would x  
<18:22>  
I gotta go, mom’s doing steak! I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay x

 

**< Cas>**  
<18:22>  
See you x

 

 

**< June 16th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<01:51>  
Nice to see you today. You looked kinda pale but still gorgeous ;) x

 

**< Cas>  
**<01:51>  
Don’t play it down, I know I look like shit x  
<01:51>  
Keep getting headaches x  
<01:52>  
Such bad headaches x

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:52>  
Tell your nurses, dumbass x

 

**< Cas>  
**<01:53>  
They know. Having a scan soon x

 

**< Dean>**  
<01:53>  
How soon? x

 

**< Cas>**  
<01:54>  
In about two days. I’m not sure, just whenever they can fit me in x  
<01:54>  
Speaking of which, my head is really hurting. So I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight! Love you! See you tomorrow? xx

 

**< Dean>**  
<01:54>  
Definitely x

 

 

**< June 17th, 2014>  
<Dean>**  
<02:37>  
Heya Cas, you still awake? x

 

**< Cas>**  
<02:38>  
As always. x

 

**< Dean> **  
<02:38>  
You okay? x

 

**< Cas>**  
<02:38>  
This hospital…its weird. x

 

**< Dean>**  
<02:39>  
Weird how? x

 

**< Cas>**  
<02:39>  
Makes me feeel ill. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<02:39>  
Ill how? What's wrong? xx

 

**< Cas>  
**<02:40>  
Dont know. Ow. Head hurst  
<02:40>  
I cant see dean im gona sleep xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<02:40>  
Ow? Are you okay? x  
<02:40>  
Cas???  
<02:41>  
CAS!  
<02:41>  
Shit, please be okay.  
<02:45>  
I called the hospital. The line wasn't operating. Text me back or I'm calling 911.

 

**< Cas>  
**<02:46>  
I love you.

 

**< Dean>  
**<02:46>  
I love you too.  
<02:46>  
Are you okay? x  
<02:47>  
You scared me, man. You're just sleepy, right? Tell me you're just tired. x  
<03:03>  
I'm shaking, Cas. Please be okay. x  
<03:24>  
God, what's wrong with me? Of course you're just tired. Just sleeping. x  
<03:24>  
I'm still calling the hospital first thing tomorrow though. x  
<03:24>  
You're gonna laugh when you see these. x  
<03:25>  
Night Cas. Love you xx

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<06:00>  
I'm on hold. Fuck, hospitals are slow. x  
<06:00>  
Caaaaaaaaas. This is your conscience. Waaaaaaaake up. x  
<06:00>  
Wake up for your gorgeous boyfriend who's worried about you. x  
<06:10>  
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.  
<06:10>  
CASTIEL STOP THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW.  
<06:10>  
The nurse said you deteriorated--  
<06:10>  
Cas, please.  
<06:11>  
I'm coming today. Be there in a few minutes. You better be awake when I get there. 

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<06:21>  
They won't let me see you.  
<06:21>  
What the fuck is going on???  
<06:22>  
Since when is it family only for you??  
<06:22>  
Wait until this grumpy fucking night nurse gets off. For all intents and purposes, I'm your cousin.  
<06:23>  
Which one shall I use?  
<06:23>  
Which one's in France?  
<06:23>  
Balthazar? Yeah I'll be him. x  
<06:24>  
Why'd you have to go get yourself hurt, huh? It's exactly like you. Worrying us all to death. x  
<06:25>  
Holy fuck, your dad's here. x  
<06:25>  
I'm really starting to panic. For the love of God, Cas, answer me. x  
<06:27>  
'You're not allowed to have a phone in here' she says. 'Go fuck yourself' I say. x  
<06:28>  
So tired. Didn't sleep at all last night. Threw up a couple times. A few hours yesterday was not enough. I miss your face. x  
<06:28>  
Okay that was cheesy. x  
<06:28>  
I do though. I wanna see your blue eyes. x  
<06:30>  
Ey, new nurse. x  
<06:33>  
'Go home' she says. 'Go fuck yourself' I say. x  
<06:33>  
I feel like these nurses don't like me. Should probably stop telling them to go fuck themselves. x  
<06:35>  
Cas, c'mon. I need a line. Something to let me know you're okay. x  
<06:35>  
My battery's dying. I'll be here til someone lets me in. xx

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<12:31>  
Nobody let me in. Bought a charger from the store. x  
<12:31>  
I'm hungry, what should I get for lunch? x  
<12:33>  
Ham salad sandwich. Ugh, gross. You always liked that though, so here I am, sitting in a shitty hospital, eating shitty hospital store food. x  
<12:36>  
That tasted like shit. x  
<12:36>  
Your dad glared at me earlier. Like excuse me is it my fault your son loves me more? x  
<12:39>  
Damn. I gotta go home, Sammy's not well. I'll be back later though. x  
<12:39>  
Miss you. Love you x

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<15:03>  
Your brother just called. x  
<15:03>  
Gabriel. x  
<15:03>  
He told me not to go back to the hospital today. x  
<15:03>  
What the fuck?? x  
<15:04>  
Answer me!!! x

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:22>  
Shit. Shit shit shit. Gabriel called again.  
<18:22>  
Cas why??  
<18:22>  
Wake up!!!!  
<18:22>  
I need you.  
<18:22>  
We're family.  
<18:22>  
I love you. 

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<21:41>  
Nothing's on TV. Wake up so you can recommend a movie. x  
<21:42>  
Remember your birthday last year? x  
<21:42>  
God, we missed some good movies.  
<21:42>  
Can't complain though, making out with you was a great alternative.  
<21:43>  
God, your lips.  
<21:43>  
God, your body.  
<21:43>  
Your filthy mind, too. Christ, Cas, you're perfect. x  
<21:43>  
It was that evening that we did it for the first time, wasn't it? That was such a good evening. x  
<21:44>  
It wasn't the night I fell for you, though. x  
<21:44>  
Hell no, I fell for you long before that. x  
<21:45>  
You were so beautiful that first day. Fuckin' tenth grade, Cas. The first day I met you. The first day of tenth grade. We were fifteen, man. Fifteen year olds aren't meant to fall in love. x  
<21:46>  
Did you fall for me the same time I fell for you? I don't know, I hid it for so long. Not sure why. Just denying myself, I guess. x  
<21:46>  
Remember just before we went public? Secret kisses, making out behind the school. x  
<21:47>  
I miss that. It was so simple. x  
<21:47>  
Before people started scrawling 'fag' on my locker. Before they beat you up. Jesus, that was a hard few months. x  
<21:48>  
Thank God for Charlie and Jo, right? If they weren't there to kick ass, who knows what we'd have done. x  
<21:48>  
Oh great, now I'm crying. x  
<21:49>  
I'm gonna stow it. It's not like you're dead. x  
<21:50>  
Sam's calling me. I think mom wants to hand out cocoa and biscuits. Don't wanna go. x  
<21:51>  
Gotta go. Damn. Talk to you later. Love you xx

 

 

**< June 18th, 2014>  
<Gabriel>  
**<01:21>  
Deano, Cas getting worse. Nurses recommending life support. Getting you special pass to get in tomorrow. Call me in morning. First thing?? 

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:21>  
Fuck. Will do. What's happening to him?

 

**< Gabriel>  
**<01:22>  
They say he's not coming out of coma. Brain damage. I'm scared. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:22>  
He'll be okay. Bastard's too stubborn to be anything else. 

 

**< Gabriel>  
**<01:22>  
Promise? 

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:26>  
No, I can't. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<06:01>  
Morning! xx  
<06:01>  
I'm gonna get to see you today! Missed your face yesterday. x  
<06:02>  
Driving over now, obviously not gonna text while driving. Talk about irony. x  


 

**< Dean>  
**<06:22>  
I hate hospitals. Smell of disinfectant. x  
<06:22>  
You don't, of course. You're like a ball of warmth and goodness. x  
<06:22>  
That was weird. Sorry. I'm just excited. See you in a few minutes!! x  
<06:23>  
Gabe's talking to the nurse. Missed you. Love you. x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<10:38>  
Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit. I can't breathe. Fuck, Cas.  
<10:39>  
You look like shit, no offence. There's no colour on your face. So pale.  
<10:40>  
Makes me wonder, if that's what's there of your body, where are *you*?

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<12:53>  
Left you briefly to get lunch. I plugged your phone in to charge, no worries. x  
<12:54>  
You're going in life support in a few minutes. They told me to get out while they do it. Bitches. x  
<12:54>  
How about tuna mayo today? x  
<12:54>  
No, you hate that. I'm not having ham salad again. x  
<12:56>  
I got ham salad. x  
<12:56>  
You'll be the death of me. x

 

 

**< Mom>  
**<18:43>  
Hon, come home for dinner xx  
<18:45>  
Dean, honey, please? xx  
<18:46>  
Cas isn't going anywhere baby xx  
<18:48>  
He's not gonna mind if you leave him for a while xx  
<18:50>  
If you're not going to come home, please eat something. Let us know. I love you xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<18:53>  
Not coming home. Staying with Cas. Love you. 

 

 

**< June 19th, 2014>  
<Dean>**  
<06:21>  
Shit. The nurses kicked me out. I held your hand all night, Cas. You were cold. x  
<06:22>  
Your brother Michael tried to shoo me off. I told him to go fuck himself. x  
<06:22>  
Didn't sleep. I hate myself for it, but I have to go, man. x  
<06:22>  
Okay, gonna drive home. So tired. I love you, see you later xx

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:42>  
SHIT.  
<15:42>  
I overslept.  
<15:42>  
I have three missed calls from your brother.  
<15:43>  
Please be okay.  
<15:47>  
Thank God. x  
<15:47>  
Sorry, I panicked. You're fine, of course you are. x  
<15:47>  
I'm on my way down, be there in a sec. x

 

 

**< Mom>**  
<15:49>  
Where are you going? xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:49>  
Hospital. 

 

**< Mom>  
**<15:50>  
You need a break from worrying about Cas xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:51>  
Why didn't you wake me? 

 

**< Mom>  
**<15:51>  
You were out all night, you needed to sleep xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:52>  
Anything could have happened to him!

 

**< Mom>  
**<15:53>  
I know, baby, but this is too much for you xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:54>  
Nothing's ever too much for me, not where Cas is concerned. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<16:26>  
I wish you'd wake up. I wanna see your eyes. x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<20:08>  
The life support machine's annoying as fuck. Beeping and whirring and shit. Dammit Cas, get yourself together. There are people here who love you. x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<22:59>  
You used to have such a strong will to live. x  
<23:00>  
Please wake up. x

 

 

**< June 20th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<06:02>  
Got thrown out again. x  
<06:02>  
Fuck, I wish you'd wake up. x  
<06:03>  
I love you, Cas. Please don't forget that. x  
<06:03>  
You'd better remember me when you wake up. x  
<06:07>  
Don't give up x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:24>  
Just woke up, coming back down. x  
<13:24>  
Get your head on straight and be up when I get there. x

 

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:24>  
Come downstairs, we want to talk to you xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:25>  
I'm getting ready to leave. 

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:25>  
That's what we want to talk to you about xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:35>  
You can't stop me from going to see him

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:36>  
No, but we can do something about this obsession xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:36>  
It's not an obsession, it's Cas!

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:36>  
I know, baby. Come downstairs xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:37>  
We can talk tomorrow. 

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:37>  
Come downstairs. Now. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:37>  
No. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:40>  
Eesh that was lucky. I'm sneaking out and avoiding my parents for you. Be grateful x  
<13:41>  
Okay, on my way. I'm telling you, you'd better be awake! xx

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:57>  
What do they mean 'unstable'????  
<13:57>  
Cas, what're they talking about?  
<13:59>  
Emergency surgery?!?!?!  
<13:59>  
What the fuck???  
<14:02>  
Stay strong, I love you. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<16:34>  
Oh, come on!!  
<16:34>  
How are they still operating?!?!  
<16:34>  
Fuuuuuuck I'm so worried.  
<16:34>  
I don't even know what they're doing to you.  
<16:35>  
Your brothers aren't talking to me.  
<16:35>  
Gabriel's got his head in his hands, not talking to anyone.  
<16:35>  
Michael's...Michael.  
<16:35>  
Your dad's fucked off somewhere. I don't even know.  
<16:36>  
I need you here, man.  
<16:36>  
Your family freak me out.  
<16:36>  
Heh. That's my life motto, right?  
<16:36>  
"I need you"  
<16:36>  
I do, though. Come back to me. Please xx

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:23>  
Holy shit, come on!!  
<18:25>  
Oh fuck, there's a nurse. Is that for you??  
<18:25>  
It is oh god.  
<18:30>  
No  
<18:30>  
Nonononononononononono  
<18:30>  
CAS. FUCKING STOP IT NOW.  
<18:31>  
It's a mistake.  
<18:31>  
Some big fucking mistake.  
<18:31>  
Please Cas.  
<18:31>  
Please no.  
<18:32>  
I'm praying for a miracle here.  
<18:32>  
Me, praying. That's when you know it's bad.  
<18:32>  
Cas. Come on. 

 

 

**< Mom>**  
<18:36>  
Dean honey, please come home xx

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:36>  
He's dead

 

**< Mom>**  
<18:36>  
What?!?!?!  
<18:37>  
**< Incoming call from: Mom>  
<Declined>**

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:38>  
I need some time. 

 

**< Mom>**  
<18:38>  
Where are you?? We'll pick you up

 

**< Dean>**  
<18:40>  
No, I want to be alone. 

 

 

**< Dean>**  
<19:35>  
How fucking dare you?  
<19:35>  
How dare you leave me?  
<19:36>  
You bastard, Cas.  
<19:36>  
Castiel, there is not a curse word for how fucking pissed I am at you right now.  
<19:37>  
That fucking driver can rot in Hell.  
<19:37>  
I can't believe that's all it was.  
<19:37>  
Just some asshole.  
<19:37>  
I hate you for leaving.  
<19:38>  
You could've held on longer.  
<19:38>  
You could've *tried* you selfish jerk. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<20:21>  
Shit.  
<20:21>  
I'm sorry I didn't mean that.  
<20:21>  
I'm so sorry, I love you x  
<20:22>  
I loved--love. I love you so much x  
<20:22>  
Why did you have to die?????????  
<20:22>  
For fuck's sake.  
<20:22>  
I keep thinking you're gonna call me.  
<20:23>  
Ask me what I'm talking about.  
<20:23>  
Then we'll laugh it off and go see a movie.  
<20:23>  
But really just make out in the back of the theatre.  
<20:23>  
It hurts. It hurts so bad.  
<20:24>  
I don't even know where I am.  
<20:24>  
I just stumbled out of the hospital and walked. I don't know where I got to.  
<20:24>  
My mom keeps calling me.  
<20:24>  
What do I do?  
<20:25>  
Woah.  
<20:25>  
That was weird.  
<20:25>  
I swear I just felt your hand on my shoulder.  
<20:25>  
So cold.  
<20:25>  
I miss you.  
<20:25>  
It's a real pain.  
<20:25>  
Is this grief?  
<20:25>  
It's agony.  
<20:26>  
Like there's a hole in my chest.  
<20:26>  
A giant, gaping hole. That's cliché, but true.  
<20:26>  
Fuck, I love you.  
<20:26>  
I'm crying so hard I can hardly see my screen.  
<20:26>  
I gotta go. Need to get home.  

 

 

**< Mom>  
**<20:29>  
Baby, where are you? xx

 

**< Dean>**  
<20:29>  
I don't know. 

 

**< Mom>  
**<20:30>  
What? xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<20:30>  
I don't know. I'm at a building site near the hospital. Can you come find me?

 

**< Mom>  
**<20:30>  
Of course. Sit tight, honey, I'll be there xx

 

 

**< Charlie>  
**<22:31>  
Heya Deany! How's Cas??

 

**< Dean>  
** <22:32>  
Don't ask me. 

 

**< Charlie>  
**<22:32>  
???  
<22:34>  
Dean?????  
<22:35>  
Is he okay??  
<22:37>  
Dean!!!  
<22:38>  
**< Incoming call from: Charlie>  
<Declined>  
**<22:39>  
Dean I'm starting to worry. Call me!!

 

 

**< June 21st, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<00:42>  
Hey x  
<00:42>  
You won't believe how crazy tonight's been! x  
<00:42>  
...oh yeah.  
<00:42>  
Sorry. Not here to read it.  
<00:43>  
I can't believe how fine I thought everything was this morning.  
<00:43>  
I can't believe you're...y'know.  
<00:43>  
I don't wanna be in a world where you're not alive x  
<00:43>  
What's the point of doing anything if you're not here to see it?  
<00:44>  
Fuck, what must I sound like? Pathetic.  
<00:46>  
Mom and dad wanted to talk to me. I went straight upstairs.  
<00:46>  
Sam hasn't said a word.  
<00:46>  
Dad just...looked at me.  
<00:46>  
I guess, in his eyes, it's bad enough that I'm a fag, let alone grieving over the guy I love.  
<00:47>  
…loved?  
<00:47>  
No. Still present tense. Always will be x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<00:49> **  
** You okay? 

 

**< Gabriel>  
**<00:51>  
Been better  
<00:51>  
You?

 

**< Dean>  
**<00:51>  
No. I'm really not okay.  
<00:52>  
I love him, Gabe. I don't know what to do.

 

**< Gabriel>  
**<00:53>  
We all did. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<00:53>  
Don't you still?

 

 

<01:47>  
**< Incoming call from: Charlie>  
<Declined>  
**  
**< Charlie>  
**<01:48>  
You're gonna have to talk to me at some point. What's going on?  
<01:50>  
Either you tell me or I call the hospital. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:50>  
Knock yourself out. 

 

**< Charlie>  
**<01:50>  
Jesus Christ, Dean. What's going on?!

 

**< Dean>  
**<01:52>  
He's gone. 

 

**< Charlie>  
**<01:53>  
...what?

 

<01:53>  
**< Incoming call from: Charlie>  
<Accepted>**

 

 

**< Jo>  
**<02:31>  
just talked 2 charls. She's in bits. Wtf???

 

**< Dean>  
**<02:32>  
Not in the mood, Jo. Go to sleep. 

 

**< Jo>  
**<02:32>  
But cas??

 

**< Dean>  
**<02:32>  
I'm tired. Please. 

 

**< Jo>  
**<02:32>  
Call me 2mrw!

 

 

**< Crowley>  
**<08:29>  
Hello, squirrel.  
<08:39>  
Heard about Castiel.  
<08:29>  
News spreads fast.  
<08:30>  
I'm sorry. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<08:31>  
Sock it, Crowley. Don't pretend like you care. 

 

**< Crowley>  
**<08:31>  
He was a friend. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<08:32>  
Please, just fuck off. 

 

 

**< Alistair>  
**<09:21>  
Condolences about Castiel. 

 

 

**< Inias>  
**<10:42>  
Heard About Castiel. I'm Sorry. 

 

 

**< Ellen>  
**<10:57>  
You ok darlin? 

 

 

**< Jo>  
**<11:13>  
U sed u'd call? 

 

 

**< Anna>  
**<12:38>  
Heard about Castiel. Oh my god. Are you alright? xxx

 

 

**< Bobby>  
**<12:46>  
You alright kid? 

 

 

**< Rufus>  
**<12:48>  
Sorry bout cas. U k?

 

 

**< Benny>  
**<12:56>  
I heard the news. Everything okay on your end, brother?

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:02>  
**< @All>  
**EVERYONE FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE. 

 

 

**< Dad>  
**<13:02>  
Language.

 

 

**< Mom>  
**<13:03>  
Do you wanna talk baby? xx

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:03>  
No.

 

 

**< Sammy>  
**<13:04>  
Can I come up to your room? 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:04>  
No, Sammy. Sorry. I need some time. 

 

**< Sammy>  
**<13:04>  
Here if you wanna talk. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:05>  
Thanks, bro. 

 

 

<13:25>  
**< Incoming call from: Jo>  
<Declined> **

 

<13:26>  
**< Incoming call from: Jo>  
<Declined>**

 

<13:26>  
**< Incoming call from: Jo>  
<Declined>**

 

**< Power off?>  
<Yes>**

 

 

**< June 24th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<05:10>  
It's your funeral today.  
<05:10>  
First time I've put my phone on since the day after.  
<05:10>  
So many people have text and called.  
<05:11>  
Pretending they know you.  
<05:11>  
They don't know you.  
<05:11>  
They never gave you the time of day.  
<05:11>  
Haven't been out of my room for days.  
<05:12>  
Sam keeps bringing food I don't eat.  
<05:12>  
Mom keeps trying to talk.  
<05:12>  
I keep crying.  
<05:13>  
Dad hasn't said anything.  
<05:13>  
He never liked you.  
<05:13>  
He's such a dick.  
<05:14>  
He was always such a dick to you.  
<05:14>  
I hope he regrets it.  
<05:15>  
How could anyone dislike you?  
<05:15>  
You're a light. You're just...amazing.  
<05:19>  
It's a closed casket funeral.  
<05:19>  
Mom left me a suit while I was sleeping yesterday.  
<05:19>  
You always said you liked me in a suit.  
<05:24>  
Fuck, I love you. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:40>  
You'd hate this.  
<09:40>  
So many people. All in black, crying.  
<09:40>  
You'd think they're ridiculous.  
<09:41>  
They are.  
<09:41>  
Dad's not here.  
<09:41>  
There's a dickload of people though  
<09:41>  
People I've never met.  
<09:42>  
Gabe said it's ill advised for me to do a eulogy for you. Y'know, seen as you're not 'out' to your grandparents.  
<09:42>  
I'm gonna anyway.  
<09:43>  
I've not written anything down, but I could talk about you for hours. I won't out you, don't worry.  
<09:43>  
Ew. Carnations. Who the fuck thought carnations would be great?? You hate carnations. They remind you of funerals.  
<09:44>  
I got you a rose.  
<09:44>  
It's red. Just a plain rose. Got it from mom's garden.  
<09:44>  
You always admired those, didn't you?  
<09:46>  
"Dean stop texting! This is about Cas." Lol @ mom.  
<09:46>  
I told her who I was texting. She went quiet.  
<09:46>  
This suit is uncomfortable.  
<09:47>  
It doesn't hurt any less, btw. Still got that hole in my chest.  
<09:47>  
Oh god there's people from school here.  
<09:47>  
Wait why is there a priest here?? You're not religious.  
<09:47>  
I asked Gabe if I can come with them to scatter your ashes tomorrow.  
<09:48>  
Michael said no. Gabe overruled.  
<09:48>  
It's starting at 10. I'm gonna go up to your coffin before everyone gets here.  
<09:48>  
It's weird. You're here. Just in front of me. You may as well be sat next to me.  
<09:48>  
The seat next to me's empty. Feel free.  
<09:49>  
Okay, gonna go talk to your body.  
<09:49>  
That sounds weird.  
<09:49>  
Brb x

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:58>  
People from school tried talking to me. I ignored them.  
<09:58>  
I was talking to you.  
<09:58>  
Making jokes.  
<09:58>  
Still cried though.  
<09:58>  
Jesus there's so many people! How many people do you know, man?  
<09:59>  
One minute.  
<09:59>  
This sucks.  
<09:59>  
This makes it too final. Too real.  
<09:59>  
Like no, I still love you. You can't be dead.  
<09:59>  
Great. I'm crying again. I gotta stop this shit.  
<10:00>  
It's starting.  
<10:00>  
The priest is talking crap. Like he knows you.  
<10:02>  
Gabriel's turn.  
<10:06>  
Michael.  
<10:09>  
My turn. I should call you and record this to voicemail.  
<10:09>  
Wish me luck. I love you. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<10:14>  
Eesh that was daunting.  
<10:14>  
The look on your grandparents' faces when I said that I love you.  
<10:14>  
Lot of looks of pity.  
<10:15>  
Is it 'cause I'm referring to you in the present tense?  
<10:15>  
Probably.  
<10:15>  
Fuck. Fuck fuck I forgot your rose. Fuck.  
<10:15>  
Shit. Shit I'm panicking.  
<10:17>  
Mom said I can ask to say goodbye privately at the end.  
<10:17>  
Thank god.

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<10:50>  
Gave it to you.  
<10:50>  
Said a quiet goodbye.  
<10:50>  
Told you I'd talk to you later.  
<10:51>  
The undertaker guy was looking at me weirdly.  
<10:51>  
It was so empty in that place. The crematorium. Whatever.  
<10:51>  
It's not over. I hope you know that. I still love you. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<15:19>  
I wanna get drunk.  
<15:19>  
I don't wanna feel this pain anymore.  
<15:19>  
But you always hated when I got drunk.  
<15:20>  
So I'm not gonna.  
<15:20>  
I'm so pissed at dad though.  
<15:20>  
I can't be lieve he didn't come with us.  
<15:20>  
I want to shout it out with him.  
<15:21>   
But that's not gonna do any good.  
<15:21>  
I think I'm just gonna sleep a bit.  
<15:21>  
Talk to you later x

 

 

**< June 25th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<03:26>  
Healthy sleeping pattern? What healthy sleeping pattern?  
<03:26>  
How did I even sleep so long?  
<03:26>  
I dreamed about that time we went to the beach last summer.  
<03:27>  
Heh. That was a good day.  
<03:30>  
Scattering your ashes today.  
<03:30>  
That really is finalising it.  
<03:30>  
Not that it wasn't final before.  
<03:32>  
I wanna hear your voice.  
<03:32>  
Before you got hit.  
<03:32>  
Oh, I know.

 

<03:32>  
**< Outgoing call to: Cas>  
</Hi, it's Castiel. Sorry, I can't get to my phone at the moment, please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!/> **

 

**< Dean>  
**<03:33>  
Wow. I'd almost forgotten what you sounded like.  
<03:34>  
Would it be weird to make a recording of that?  
<03:34>  
I'm gonna. Hold on, wanna get this on my laptop. 

 

<03:35>  
**< Outgoing call to: Cas>  
</Hi, it's Castiel. Sorry, I can't get to my phone at the moment, please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!/> **

 

**< Dean>  
**<03:36>  
Okay thanks.  
<03:36>  
I still have videos and stuff, obviously.  
<03:36>  
But y'know. Can never have too much of your voice.  
<03:37>  
I'm starting to feel creepy. Texting, recording your voicemail.  
<03:37>  
Like come on, that's not me.  
<03:37>  
Grief fucks people up. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<13:17>  
You'll never guess where they decided to scatter you.  
<13:17>  
Our hill. Our first kiss hill!  
<13:17>  
Fucking ironic. Your dad and Michael always disapproved and look where they decide to lay you to rest.  
<13:18>  
You'd have preferred this at sunset tbh, but there we are.  
<13:18>  
They wanna wait for exactly twenty past, because of your slightly OCD habits about even numbers.  
<13:18>  
I have to agree.  
<13:18>  
Michael's glaring at me. Is it because I'm texting?  
<13:18>  
Lol.  
<13:19>  
I'm actually real nervous about this. Gabe's doing the honours.  
<13:19>  
That's who you would've chosen, right?  
<13:19>  
Okay, it's time. I'll talk to you later, see you in a sec, I guess.  
<13:19>  
Good luck on the other side xx  
<13:19>  
Don't forget me, kay? xxx

 

 

**< June 28th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<09:56>  
Hey. Sorry I haven't text in a while!  
<09:56>  
In all honesty, I couldn't face it.  
<09:56>  
It seemed so weird. You're actually gone.  
<09:56>  
It's only now hitting me.  
<09:57>  
Dad's told me to get over it.  
<09:57>  
Get over it?? Over you??  
<09:57>  
Yeah not gonna happen.  
<09:58>  
I just miss talking to you, y'know?  
<09:58>  
I feel like you're still around. Angel on my shoulder and all that.  
<10:00>  
I've gotta go back to school Monday.  
<10:00>  
How am I gonna do it without you?  
<10:00>  
Plus there'll be the bullshit sympathy from everyone.  
<10:01>  
Ugh. I miss you.  
<10:02>  
How're you doing over there, huh?  
<10:02>  
Heaven much different from Earth?  
<10:02>  
They weren't right, y'know. The people that said we'd go to Hell.  
<10:03>  
Save a spot for me up there, I'll meet you in a while.

 

 

**< June 30th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<08:46>  
Yo, you're late for homeroom.  
<08:46>  
People are looking at me weirdly. Where're you at? x  
<08:48>  
Caaaaaaastiel babe lemme know, kay? x  
<08:49>  
Oh joy, an assembly. They know how we love those. Will save you a seat! x  
<09:21>  
Told Jo she couldn't sit next to me because I was saving a seat for you. She looked at me really strangely.  
<09:21>  
It's like they've forgotten we're a thing. Huh.  
<09:23>  
Ugh Zachariah trying to be relatable.  
<09:23>  
What's he talking about difficult times for all of us??  
<09:24>  
What. 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<10:30>  
Being called into the guidance councillor's office?  
<10:30>  
Ok seriously if this is some huge prank you're doing it perfectly.  
<10:34>  
Jeez I wish she would shut up.  
<10:34>  
Why's she insisting you're  
<10:34>  
Oh. Fuck.  
<10:34>  
Fuck fuck fuck  
<10:34>  
You're really  
<10:35>  
Fucking fuck.  
<10:35>  
I forgot. I don't even know how.  
<10:35>  
I just forgot.  
<10:36>  
Wow it's like a whole new pain all over again.  
<10:39>  
How could I forget?  
<10:39>  
Shit.  
<10:40>  
Something's fucking wrong with me.  
<10:40>  
I gotta stop this.  
<10:40>  
I gotta-  
<10:41>  
She says I have to stop texting you.  
<10:41>  
I don't know if I can do that.

 

 

**< July 4th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<08:31>  
Happy Independence Day!  
<08:31>  
Dad's doing fireworks tonight.  
<08:32>  
I got some awesome ones too.  
<08:32>  
It's gonna be weird without you.  
<08:32>  
Remember last year?  
<08:32>  
God, that was great.  
<08:33>  
I'm sleeping properly again.  
<08:33>  
It's nice, really. I get to see you when I'm asleep.  
<08:33>  
Makes me never wanna wake up... 

 

 

**< Dean>  
**<20:11>  
Wow. They’re beautiful.  
<20:11>  
Wish you were here.  
<20:12>  
Miss you. 

 

 

**< July 5th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<09:23>  
I still can't really believe it...  
<09:23>  
I don't wanna.  
<09:23>  
I thought everything would be okay after the funeral but Cas, it's not.  
<09:24>  
It's fucked.  
<09:24>  
Hurts to say your name.  
<09:24>  
Hurts to type it.  
<09:24>  
You're killing me, man.  
<09:25>  
You're killing me but I can't let you go. 

 

 

**< July 9th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<23:03>  
Caaaaaass!!  
<23:03>  
Maybw A liiiiiiittle bit drunk  
<23:04>  
Couldnt not lol  
<23:04>  
Jus got 2 me yknow  
<23:05>  
Life jsnt fuckking fair  
<23:05>  
U didnt deserve 2 die  
<23:06>  
Not fair  
<23:07>  
Fucking love you  
<23:07>  
Not fair.

 

 

**< July 10th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<09:54>  
Ugh. Sorry babe. That was shitty. Can't justify it. I suck. xx

 

**< Cas>  
**<09:54>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:54>  
???

 

**< Cas>  
**<09:54>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:55>  
No. They haven't disconnected your phone. 

 

**< Cas>  
**<09:55>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:55>  
I can't leave you with me drunk texting you as the last thing I said. You hate drunk me. Nononono.  


**< Cas>  
**<09:55>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. 

 

**< Dean>  
**<09:56>  
I'm so sorry. My god. I really fucked up.On the off-chance you see this, I love you. I really do. 

 

**< Cas>  
**<09:56>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code.

 

 

**< July 13th, 2014>  
<Dean>  
**<04:48>  
I’m gonna type this out all at once ‘cause I don’t wanna see my phone light up with your name, when I know it’s a bounceback.  
I can’t go back to how I was before. I’m not ready. It was so dark, so cold.  
I can feel it tugging at me already. I can’t go back to that, I really can’t.  
I’d delete your number, but I know it off by heart.  
I’d cancel my contract, but I’d just buy another SIM.  
I gotta distance myself. Mom thinks this is hurting more than it’s helping. I agree with her right now.  
Know I’ll never forget you. Know I’ll never stop loving you.  
You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I can never thank you enough.  
Castiel Novak, I love you.  
Rest in peace, ‘cause when I get up there with you, you aren’t gonna be getting much quiet.  
I’ll see you, Cas. I don’t know when, but it’ll be like no time at all for you.  
I can’t wait.  
Bye, Cas. x

 

**< Cas>  
**<09:55>  
Error Invalid Number. Please re-send using a valid 10 digit mobile number or valid short code. 

 

 

**< Power off?>  
<Yes>**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
